I commit to writing two posts a week, and suddenly blog fodder is falling from the sky! And I mean that literally.
Last week, after eight years without any paid-for TV and two years without any TV at all (we gave up after RB broke his fourth set of rabbit ears), the Captain finally took the plunge and got us satellite TV. And it turned out to be an awful lot more exciting than I could have imagined.
We had two people here working with RB, and the satellite guy turned up just after lunch. He was about 70, but he knew far more about the whole thing than I did, so I was hardly going to argue. Off up the ladder he went and got to work installing the dish, and I busied myself cleaning the kitchen.
About halfway through the installation, I heard a thump and one of the girls in the living room suddenly yelled "CALL 911! HE'S FALLEN OFF THE ROOF!"
Are you frickin' kidding me?!
I grabbed the phone, dialed 911 and got...A RECORDED MESSAGE! Oh. My. God.
I was kept on hold for at least a minute before an operator was available to take my call. Meanwhile, I had an unconscious 70 year-old on my driveway!
By the time the ambulance arrived 10 minutes later (yes, you read that right. And from what I hear, this is a lightening-quick response time out here in the back of beyond. Just cross your fingers I never have a heart attack...), our satellite guy had come around, stood up (despite my anxious instructions to stay still), and was rolling his eyes at what a fuss we'd made over absolutely nothing. Bear in mind here that he had no recollection of one of the girls trying to get him to talk to her while he was out cold on the gravel.
The ambulance people gave him a good looking-over, determined that they thought he was okay, but recommended a ride to the hospital to see a doctor just in case. Our satellite guy refused, signed away his right to sue if he dropped dead in the next 24 hours (I guess at that point, suing wouldn't be his main concern anyway), and as the ambulance was backing out of our place, he was climbing back up the ladder to finish the job! I wanted to call the satellite company and recommend him for employee of the month, but as the accident happened because he didn't set his ladder up right, I was afraid I might get him into trouble instead. Still, that's one dedicated employee!
Everyone else just gets a guy out to set up their paid-for TV service. I got a story to go with it. And I'm thankful for that because, as I suspected all along, the installation was much more entertaining than what's actually on TV. I swear, if I see David Caruso take off his sunglasses one more time, or that stupid egg-boiling infomercial, I'm climbing up there and ripping the dish down myself.
But don't worry. I'll call 911 before I get the ladder out.