Wednesday, November 16, 2011

Satellite TV

I commit to writing two posts a week, and suddenly blog fodder is falling from the sky! And I mean that literally.

Last week, after eight years without any paid-for TV and two years without any TV at all (we gave up after RB broke his fourth set of rabbit ears), the Captain finally took the plunge and got us satellite TV. And it turned out to be an awful lot more exciting than I could have imagined.

We had two people here working with RB, and the satellite guy turned up just after lunch. He was about 70, but he knew far more about the whole thing than I did, so I was hardly going to argue. Off up the ladder he went and got to work installing the dish, and I busied myself cleaning the kitchen.

About halfway through the installation, I heard a thump and one of the girls in the living room suddenly yelled "CALL 911! HE'S FALLEN OFF THE ROOF!"

Are you frickin' kidding me?!

I grabbed the phone, dialed 911 and got...A RECORDED MESSAGE! Oh. My. God.

I was kept on hold for at least a minute before an operator was available to take my call. Meanwhile, I had an unconscious 70 year-old on my driveway!

By the time the ambulance arrived 10 minutes later (yes, you read that right. And from what I hear, this is a lightening-quick response time out here in the back of beyond. Just cross your fingers I never have a heart attack...), our satellite guy had come around, stood up (despite my anxious instructions to stay still), and was rolling his eyes at what a fuss we'd made over absolutely nothing. Bear in mind here that he had no recollection of one of the girls trying to get him to talk to her while he was out cold on the gravel.

The ambulance people gave him a good looking-over, determined that they thought he was okay, but recommended a ride to the hospital to see a doctor just in case. Our satellite guy refused, signed away his right to sue if he dropped dead in the next 24 hours (I guess at that point, suing wouldn't be his main concern anyway), and as the ambulance was backing out of our place, he was climbing back up the ladder to finish the job! I wanted to call the satellite company and recommend him for employee of the month, but as the accident happened because he didn't set his ladder up right, I was afraid I might get him into trouble instead. Still, that's one dedicated employee!

Everyone else just gets a guy out to set up their paid-for TV service. I got a story to go with it. And I'm thankful for that because, as I suspected all along, the installation was much more entertaining than what's actually on TV. I swear, if I see David Caruso take off his sunglasses one more time, or that stupid egg-boiling infomercial,  I'm climbing up there and ripping the dish down myself.

But don't worry. I'll call 911 before I get the ladder out.

8 comments:

GLENDA BROOKS said...

We also have satellite tv here. I swear by it because the only cable co we have is terrible. They made me so mad so many times, we just went with satellite! It's great unless there is a heavy cloud passing over, then we have no service. Just when a tornado is coming you have no reception to see where it is! But we have been very happy with it otherwise. There are a lot of channels and much ado about nothing, but still better than cable!

Janine said...

Now that's funny!!! Not the 70 year old falling off the roof...
By the way... why is a 70 year old on the roof??? I'm just saying!!
Sounds like when we had our roof done several years ago. I swear they were all convicts.... no teeth and it took a month to do the roof!! No kidding!! My husband thought he was being kind!!
Stay sane Wendy!!

Frostbite and Sunburn said...

OMG - hilarious - in a "don't you dare die on me" kind of way!!

There are a few really good series on tv - but you have to really hunt for them. Happy hunting!

Granny Bob said...

Kind of reminds me of Tim Allen in The Santa Claus. Enjoy your dish T.V.. Please stay of your roof don't want to go by and see you lying out on the drive.You do have lots of excitement around there. Take care and see you sometime soon.

Victoria said...

Poor satellite guy! he was just trying to earn some butter on his retirement bread (or maybe he still hasn't payed all his mortgage?)

Let Caruso alone, he seems so fond of those glasses :) Or is it about the old saying - "you can't teach an old dog new tricks"?

I don't have cable either, and I'm not sure when i'm going to pay for one seeing the quality of programs right now. I much prefer to watch movies on my new TV.

In Real Life said...

Oh my goodness! Scary! I can't believe he climbed right back up the ladder - wow! That sure is a story!

Suburban Princess said...

Dont worry....Downton will be airing soon enough!

Savvy Gal said...

You do have a story uh... I would have freaked out.