Tuesday, March 31, 2009
Thursday, March 26, 2009
Apparently, I do have a little hope left in my aging brain, and I plan to get on this stuff as soon as is humanly possible. So, if you're driving down the back roads of rural Manitoba next winter and see a crazy woman in a bike helmet sliding around on her front field, don't be alarmed. I'm just following my dreams.
Monday, March 23, 2009
Okay, the Captain made it for me, but it's cool just the same.
For a while now, I've been telling him that no one is actually reading this stuff, aside from my small-but-faithful band of followers (does anyone else HATE that term? When I use it, I feel like the kooky leader of one of those "religions" where you have to cut ties with your loved ones and hand over all your banking information). And I don't mean that in a complainy way. It's just been my argument when he's raised an eyebrow at me for publicly describing all those terribly shocking items about him (What?! He's messy?! We argue sometimes?! Crazy!!). So, to prove me wrong, he set me up with something called a stat counter. And, oh my, is it ever awesome!!
For those who don't know about this (and, let's be honest, I'm probably the last to know), my stat counter keeps track of how many hits my blog gets in a day, and it shows me a map of where in the world they came from. It turns out I'm pretty big in the U.S.
What I want to know is, how are random first-time visitors finding me? What do you have to be googling in Melbourne, or Berlin, or San Diego to end up loading the page of some woman of dubious sanity in the middle of the Canadian prairies?!
Regardless, it's kind of fun to know that there are people out there checking me out. As much as I started this to try to have some record of every insane thought that pops into my head during the day, I also kind of like the idea that other people are interested to hear it.
Of course, it could all be a fluke. Perhaps people are legitimately searching for "poop murals", "blue bathrooms" (yes, I've included yet another photo), or "Tom Cruise" and load my page thinking they might find something informative. If that's the case, I guess I should issue a public apology, for you will never find anything even remotely helpful here. Unless you're doing a case study on the mental and emotional effects of stay-at-home motherhood, first-time rural living, or military madness. And realistically, how many people are doing that?
So, despite the pressure to be interesting, I'm kind of stoked to be getting a few hits every day, and even though I barely passed geography in school, I've gained a newfound interest in map-reading. Because, unlike in high school geography, the map I'm reading now is all about ME!
And when you really think about it, isn't that the real point of blogging? To want to talk non-stop about yourself, no matter how uninteresting you actually are, is kind of a side-effect of being human. There is, of course, another side effect too. So, Captain, treasure this moment, because it doesn't happen too often.
I admit it. You were right.
Friday, March 20, 2009
Tuesday, March 17, 2009
Friday, March 13, 2009
While he's been home, he's been enjoying walking up our rather long driveway in the afternoons to meet Firstborn when he gets home on the schoolbus. I enjoy it too, because it's darned cold out there.
Yesterday, he was getting ready for the driveway trek when the phone rang. It was the school resource teacher. At first, I thought Firstborn had done something uncharacteristically naughty, like throwing snowballs perhaps, on the playground. But it turned out his uncharacteristic naughtiness had surfaced in a slightly more sophisticated manner. Firstborn had concocted himself a cunning plan.
While all the other kindergarteners were lining up to either get on the bus or meet their parents at the door, Firstborn slipped into the wrong line. When the substitute teacher who was in for the day asked him why he was in the wrong line, he informed her, apparently quite convincingly, that his mum was coming to pick him up today. Had his regular teacher been there, she'd have marched him to the bus, following the standing rule that if I haven't written a note, he gets on the bus as usual. My crafty little spawn obviously knew this was his chance to score himself an unscheduled playdate in town.
The mother of Firstborn's best friend lives in town and picks up her son every day. When she saw what was transpiring, she was immediately suspicious. She's never seen me pick Firstborn up before. So, she stuck around to make sure he wasn't stranded. And when it became clear that I was not, indeed, coming to collect my child, she had the school call me to say she was taking him home with her.
Though we appreciate out-of-the-box thinking, we knew we couldn't reward Firstborn with a playdate, so the Captain got in the car and headed straight over to march our sneaky little monkey home. He got there just as Firstborn was enjoying a donut and a card game. As you can probably imagine, Firstborn was not pleased to be dragged out of there crying.
Then, of course, we had to dole out some sort of discipline. Honestly, I can see why people let their kids go wild. Taking away Firstborn's computer time for the night meant an evening of crying and whining that would test the mettle of the world's strictest disciplinarians. But we stuck to our guns, and today Firstborn promises never to pull such a stunt again.
The stuff no one tells you before you have kids...
And lastly, before I forget, I am one week into the bathroom renovation and finally able to bathe! Yay! There's still a heck of a lot more to be done, but life sure looks different when you don't smell like you've been sleeping in a dumpster.
Wednesday, March 11, 2009
The man has a wife (who I also love) and kids, and one day someone asked me if the Captain and the wife didn't find my chatting with the Man a little weird. I wasn't confounded by this question. I do understand that for some women, this whole idea is foreign and strange. And, having once been in a relationship with someone who couldn't be trusted around members of the opposite sex, I understand where the question came from.
But here's the thing about men. If you and the men you're friends with are unavailable to one another (which is obviously the case here) and not looking to do something really gross to the other parent of your children (again, not something any of us would do), men are darn good fun! Getting together with other women can sometimes turn into one long angry vent, or a gossip session, or an excuse to be judgemental. With men, what you see is what you get. You talk about how to fix a leaky tap and then you have a laugh about something goofy. It's refreshing.
So, today, I want to wish my boy-friend a very happy birthday. And also to ask him to please come over and fix the rest of my house before I lose my mind...
Tuesday, March 10, 2009
Actually, things have been running pretty smoothly, but you know how these things are. You can't really relax in your own home when you constantly have people working there. And when you haven't had a shower since Friday. Hopefully tonight...
The place is a mess, but the bath is halfway installed, and we have a new layer of floor. I took a break for some retail therapy yesterday and bought myself 4 new sweaters. That really helped.
Oh, and Janine's very lovely plug has doubled my loyal readership. I'm practically famous!
So, all-in-all, things could be worse.
I still wouldn't mind a bath though...
Saturday, March 7, 2009
Dear renovation-related headache, mold/dust cough, and raging case of B.O.,
Please go away soon. I'm not sure what I was thinking...
A Crazy Woman
Dear Mel Gibson,
Remember back when you were a cute guy we all wanted to see make another Lethal Weapon sequel? What on earth possessed you to start opening your mouth in public? And behaving like a drunken frat-boy? If this doesn't stop, you're going to go the way of Tom Cruise. Way to blow it, Riggs.
Someone who isn't sure if anyone in Hollywood is lustworthy anymore
Dear local small-town newspaper columnist,
Okay, I admit I'm still a little mad about your lack of support for teachers, so you may want to take this one with a grain of salt. That said, are you aware that the words "who" and "that" are not interchangeable? Also, when you ask your readers a question (even when it's a long-winded rhetorical one with no noun in it), it should end with a question mark.
Someone who'd print up her resume and apply for your job if her kid wasn't banned from every daycare centre in the immediate vicinity.
Whew. Some days, it's just good to get this stuff off your chest!