Well, it's that time of year again. Time to catch up on my correspondence!
Dear renovation-related headache, mold/dust cough, and raging case of B.O.,
Please go away soon. I'm not sure what I was thinking...
A Crazy Woman
Dear Mel Gibson,
Remember back when you were a cute guy we all wanted to see make another Lethal Weapon sequel? What on earth possessed you to start opening your mouth in public? And behaving like a drunken frat-boy? If this doesn't stop, you're going to go the way of Tom Cruise. Way to blow it, Riggs.
Someone who isn't sure if anyone in Hollywood is lustworthy anymore
Dear local small-town newspaper columnist,
Okay, I admit I'm still a little mad about your lack of support for teachers, so you may want to take this one with a grain of salt. That said, are you aware that the words "who" and "that" are not interchangeable? Also, when you ask your readers a question (even when it's a long-winded rhetorical one with no noun in it), it should end with a question mark.
Someone who'd print up her resume and apply for your job if her kid wasn't banned from every daycare centre in the immediate vicinity.
Whew. Some days, it's just good to get this stuff off your chest!