Thursday, December 31, 2015

Happy New Year!

Look, it's my second post of 2015! Pathetic. My blog is officially all but abandoned. If it was a dog, the SPCA would have seized it by now.

I've changed how I make resolutions. Saying hippie-dippy things like "I will simplify my life!" while staring into space and raising my right hand ever-so-slightly like I'm Hamlet doing a soliloquy is all very dramatic, but there's no point to it if I'm crying into my massive pile of clutter and lamenting the futility of my existence by the first week of February.

Nope, daily goals. Daily goals are the new fad. If there's anything I'm really good at, it's jumping on the latest fad!

So, here it is: I will spend 15 minutes decluttering every day. I suppose I will also spend 30 minutes a day exercising. I'm not so enthusiastic about that second one, but I guess I can set aside 30 minutes a day to work towards something that (like it or not) is kind of necessary.

So, that's 45 minutes a day spent trying to better myself. Maybe I can round things up to an hour with 15 minutes spent working on my blog. I kind of miss it, and I think I will eventually have those extra 15 minutes a day that have been lost since I started working again.

Which brings me to some exciting news. We're told we'll be posted to Ottawa this summer--land of no teaching jobs whatsoever! So, we will triple our cost of living and I will have no income! It's the perfect storm! I won't be able to afford to do anything but declutter, work out, and blog!

I really can't expect that anyone will think to check in here at this point, but just in case you're all still out there, wondering what's become of me, I hope 2016 is your best year yet. I could go on and on with my well-wishes for all my old blog pals, but the incomparable Neil Gaiman will always say it a million times better than I ever could.

Happy New Year! Bring on 2016!

Saturday, March 21, 2015

Extra! Extra!

As I'm about 50 posts behind, having not blogged since last JULY (Yeesh!), I imagine there's no one left out there who is still checking in to read this. But I am a former student of journalism, so when I find myself privy to a scoop, my journalistic instinct kicks in and I simply must put it out there. So, if anyone stumbles across this post, just remember, you read it here first!

Today, my little sister Mel was the only Canadian to run the Chicago Lakefront Ultra Marathon. For those not familiar, that is FIFTY FREAKING KILOMETERS! I complain if I have to drive that far! So, while she has shamelessly shirked the proud family tradition of sitting in front of the TV eating chips and complaining about being fat, she's made up for it in other ways.

But that's not all. She finished this feat of madness in the ridiculous time of 4:19, and was the 4th female finisher, missing third place by less than 20 seconds! And she placed 13th overall! That's not just an exciting Facebook brag for her friends and family. In my (completely unbiased) opinion, here in Canada, that is NEWS!

Here's a picture of Mel at the starting line. I dread to think what she must have looked like at the finish...

I've harassed her local paper to ensure she gets some real media recognition for this, as she's humble enough to just quietly go back home and carry on as normal. Because this event does not get the same media attention as something like Boston, this could easily get brushed under the carpet. Frankly, it is my journalistic duty to see that that does not happen.

And now that I've beaten the competition and gotten this hot story out there (I can't confirm anything officially, but it is rumored that I was the inspiration for Kate Mara's character on House of Cards), I'm hoping tonight she will take a break from her grueling training schedule to eat a large bag of Doritos in front of the TV.

You know, for old times' sake.