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Showing posts from March, 2019

Let Me Tell You How I Really Feel

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Like everyone else trying to avoid the current state of the world, I spend too much time on Pinterest. Whoever came up with this site is a genius. It’s the perfect way for serial procrastinators to believe they’re doing something productive. At this very moment I have 1879 projects pinned and waiting to be completed. In the handful of years since I started pinning, I have completed approximately 6 Pinterest projects. Perfect crime.
On a related topic, if you are a procrastinator or general scatterbrain, I highly recommend this podcast. It will present you with countless handy habit-changing strategies that you can tuck away in your brain to either try or ignore. It’s basically Pinterest for your ears.
Anyway, while pinning projects I know full well I'm never going to get around to, I've come across a few mugs that really speak to where I am in life. Case in point: If there's one thing that makes up for the wrinkles and chin hair that happen after 40, it's that I'm …

Spring Break Recap

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And poof! Just like that, spring break is over.
Don’t feel too badly for me. For reference, this is what spring break looks like in my neck of the woods:


Those snow banks are so high, it’s getting to a point where I can’t see the neighbours anymore. Which, to be honest, is exactly how I like it. But that’s not the point.
My 13 year-old had three days at a fantastic autism day camp where he had the time of his life, and spent the rest of the break raiding the fridge. My 15 year-old spent the week alternatively holed up in his pit of a bedroom writing code, hanging out with his friends, and raiding the fridge. 
It has just dawned on me why there’s never anything in the fridge.
The other exciting event of spring break:


That’s a full tub of homemade Instant Pot Yogurt splashed all the way from the kitchen to the plasma car (why do we still have a plasma car?!). I won’t rat on who caused that calamity, but I will give you a hint. He’s in the picture. That cat is a real ding-dong.
Realizing I ki…

Round Two

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Are blogs even a thing anymore? Let’s find out!
A couple of times a week, I think about this abandoned blog. I didn’t simply forget about it one day and leave it behind. I just couldn’t quite get the posts right anymore. It took a while for me to realize that the blog and my life have outgrown each other, and if things are to ever move forward, one of us is going to have to change.
The bad news is that I can’t go back to having toddlers. And there is not a sad enough emoji in existence to express how I feel about that one.
Once I could talk about two year-olds smearing poop on the walls, playing soccer naked, and generally being hilarious. Now I have teenagers. And anyone who was ever a teenager knows that it’s not cool to violate their privacy all over the internet, whether anyone’s reading or not. And besides, teenagers aren’t hilarious. They’re horrifying.
So, just like in real life, I’m going to have to switch gears here and focus on me. I’m burning this thing to the ground and risin…