Wednesday, November 7, 2012

As Seen On TV!

For some time now I've been making fun of the Eggies commercial, which seems to run continuously from 11 at night until about 6 in the morning here in Manitoba. I think this (completely stupid) product might only be available in Canada, so here's the video if you happen to be lucky enough not to get this where you live:

As you can see, the makers of this product have pegged us as a society so stupid, lazy and rich that we need to buy something to deliver us from the horrific inconvenience of peeling our own hard-boiled eggs. Ridiculous, right?

I totally want it.

After months of rolling my eyes through the entire ad, and laughing at the outrageously stupid woman who can't peel an egg without turning the thing into a gelatinous, inedible mess on her counter, the over-excited disembodied commercial voice telling me to buy Eggies  has finally gotten inside my head. Every time I peel an egg, I wonder "would Eggies make this easier?"

Until last week, I could only wonder. While I might be the exact fool the makers of Eggies are targeting, the $12.99 price tag was still a little steep for me. But during a quick trip to my local thrift store, guess what I found for a buck!

The fact that one of the Eggies was missing should've been my first clue that things were not going to go well. But in my defense, I was excited to find 5 obviously brand-new Eggies for such an amazing deal. I got them home, put them through the dishwasher and excitedly brought a pot of water to a boil.

Oh. My. God.

The first thing they neglect to mention in the commercial is that each Eggie has about 5 parts that have to go together perfectly in order for your eggs not to explode all over the place.  Sorting out all the parts and putting them together took me a good 5 minutes, which was essentially the amount of time using these things was supposed to save me during the peeling process. But I kept an open mind, cracked my eggs and screwed everything together good and tight. One minute into the boiling process, my pot of Eggies looked like this:


So we have two of my four eggs leaking out into the boiling water and foaming up over the side of the pot. Well, that still leaves two eggs. Not terrible, I suppose. Let's let the last two cook and then we'll slip them out with ease and enjoy two perfectly-boiled eggs without the inconvenience of peeling, just like all those happy people in the commercial!

Um...not so much.

After cleaning up the exploded egg mess, I twisted open my two remaining Eggies, only to find that my eggs were well and truly glued to the insides. Scooping them out created a mess that was actually worse than the traditional egg-peeling scene in the commercial, and I felt like a real sucker. Nowhere was it mentioned that you have to spray every separate part of these insane things with cooking spray to keep your eggs from sticking. True, this might be something that common sense should've told me, but let's remember that I am the person who is taken in by the Eggies commercial. I have no common sense! And you can bet I wasn't going to stand at the sink for half an hour scrubbing the egg off of everything when I was already only just breaking even on time as it was. Into the garbage they went!

Thus ends my love-affair with yet another ridiculous As-Seen-On-TV product, and I'm back to the horror of peeling all my boiled eggs the old-fashioned way. On the plus side, this learning experience only cost me a buck, so technically I'm still up $11.99.

I wonder if the Sham Wow guy has anything new to sell me...