Saturday, March 27, 2010

I'm Too Old for This @!#%

Between Christmas and the New Year, I decided to treat myself and subscribe to In Style magazine for a year. I like clothes and makeup and all things girly, so it seemed like a fun thing to look forward to receiving in the mail every month. And it is. But I have some complaints, and I think they have more to do with ME than the magazine.

WHO?! : In my teens and 20's, if you named a celebrity--a singer, actor or anyone famous for anything--I'd have been able to pull up a mental image and a list of things they were famous for. Today, I flip open the pages of my magazine, see an actual picture of a celebrity with their name printed underneath, and I STILL have no idea who the hell I'm looking at! Kristen sounds this someone I went to high school with?! Judging from her youthful photos, I'm guessing not. At least HALF the people featured in this magazine elicit this response from me now. Apparently, I really need to get with the program.

A Little Modesty, For Crying Out Loud! : Jennifer Lopez is older than me. Granted, she's in far better shape, but should a woman at this stage in life still need to walk around with her boobs all but exposed, or her butt barely covered? 10 years ago, my motto was "if you've got it, flaunt it." Now, my motto is "for goodness sake, cover it up!" I can almost understand it in the younger starlets. I just don't want to see it.

Where Does the Fashion Industry Get Off?! : Okay, middle-aged friends, answer me this. You've had a few kids. Your bladder is not what it used to be. You really, really need to pee. What are the odds of you not having an accident if you're wearing some crazy one-piece jumpsuit you have to completely remove every time you need the bathroom? Or how about the Gap? In my youth, I'd have run out to buy their trendy jeans with the strategically-placed rips and tears. Now, I am incensed as a consumer that they have the gall to charge me full-price for a pair of ripped jeans! They should be giving me a discount!! Also, harem pants went out of style the first time for a reason. I know this because I'm old enough to remember it.

I think it's time to face facts. I'm turning into a cranky old lady.

I can pretend the grey hair doesn't exist by spending $8 on a box of colour. I can buy jeans that are designed to cover up my middle-aged spread and fool myself into thinking it isn't an issue. I can even occasionally decide I like some new song I hear on the radio. But the fact remains that I'm getting older. Not that that has to be a bad thing. I certainly know myself, and my style, and all my preferences, much better than I did even 10 years ago. I'm more comfortable in my own skin, and I'm far less likely these days to make a stupid clothing purchase. Getting older has its advantages. But when I find myself yelling at these youngsters in the magazines to behave themselves and dress with some dignity, it shocks me into missing that part of myself that was more willing to throw caution to the wind. And I wonder how long it's going to be before I'm wearing shapeless cardigans over shapeless floral dresses and dropping my teeth into a cup every night before bed.

So today, I will find my balance. Ripped jeans aren't my thing anymore, and head-to-toe trendy has lost its appeal. But there are a few things in my closet that can keep me from disappearing into the background altogether. I will keep my mind open to new things, even if they ultimately just aren't for me.

I may be a cranky old lady, but I'm not going down without a fight.


Suburban Princess said...

Aaaaaaaaaaaaand this is exactly why I dont by InStyle anymore. I used to LOVE that mag but now I need one that caters to a late 30's mommy, wife, golfer, RH fan, book reader, cocktail drinker, lunch doer, charity board sitter, c-section scar bearing woman all rolled into one!

Maybe we should create one together lol!

Lisa Kind said...

OMGosh! We have very similar ideas on this subject! I agree 100%! I am no longer going to renew my People mag because I don't recognize the "characters" they are featuring either! Why is so and so popular enough to be in this mag? I don't think we are getting cranky...we are just old enough and have had experience enough to know what's important in life! Who wants to wear ripped jeans anyway? Not me! So cover the grey and wear what you feal comfortable're not getting older, you're getting better!

AngeliStarr said...

Lmfao don't feel bad!!! I have the same complaints but I'm only 21

laterg8r said...

i agree that there is too much 'exposure' of celebrity women, how about a little mystery and some class??? :D

Deb Neerman said...

You'll NEVER be a cranky old lady ... even when you are a cranky old lady. Some people are just too cool to age ... you're one of 'em.

LOL, at the observations though ... ripped jeans and all!

Have a great weekend, Cool One!

In Real Life said...

Oh my gosh - too funny!
I don't know who any celebrities are anymore either.
I have been thinking the same thing lately though, that I am so glad that I have gotten to know myself better over the last 10 years and am much more comfortable in my own skin that I ever used to be. (I just wish that I could have the skin I had ten years ago - tee hee!)
Have a super weekend!

Kim said...



My grandmother was such a lady and she would say "Grow Old with Grace". I say "I'm going Kicking and Screaming!" Gravity has taken over and I intend to keep it covered!

Jude@ThisJewels4You said...

OMG! I'm still laughing! Boy did you hit the nail on the head on this one. I believe the same applies to all woman's magazines. Have a great day! Jude

Sunshine and Shadows said...

I agree - I can not buy ripped jeans. I tell my kids they have earn the holes in their jeans they way I did.

Frostbite and Sunburn said...

Hee hee - just like me too. Was sitting in a hairdressers recently, which is the only time I flick though those magazines -and which reminds me each time why I no longer buy them. They are not value for money. One interesting article in amongst two hundred pages of glossy crap!

Bring on the shapeless cardi's - adorn it with a funky handbag and you're good to go.

Janine said...

Hi Wendy!! My husband and I just got back from a car ride to Providence Rhode Island. Consequently I did alot of flipping through magazines and I didn't find one over 50, slightly on the heavier side, a few more wrinkles, lady in the bunch!!
I agree... Cranky is good! Especially when it comes to the fashion industry!

Savvy Gal said...

LOL about the one piece jumpsuit. I still didn't buy one b/c I don't like the idea of undressing myself completely in a public restroom. Also what if my clothes actually touches the floor or the toilet. I will have to burn it. : )

Melanie Jane said...

I feel this way too -- the September Fashion books use to be my thing.. now I think -- didn't I wear that already???

Laughing right along with you!


Tater Tot Mom said...

This year, hubby and I decided to watch the Grammys. I came to the realization that I had no idea who half the people were and it hit me all at once..."I'm getting old!".

We live in a college town and have for almost 9 years now. When we first moved here I felt in tune with the college age kids I would see walking around on campus. Now, they look younger and younger everyday!

Jenn said...

We did the riped jeans thing already. We aren't getting old, those kids are just so behind the times!;)