Friday, January 28, 2011

My Raciest Post Ever

Caution: This post contains some mild sexual content. Mostly involving cats. Don't say I didn't warn you.

Having taught Sex Ed to 6th graders in my former life, I am a firm believer in being open and honest with my kids and not making this subject taboo. So when Firstborn asks questions, I like to give him the basic information he's looking for without getting too in-depth, and without any embarrassment or secretiveness. This morning, we had the following conversation:

Firstborn: Can I have a cookie?

Me: It's 9AM, so no.

Firstborn: Mom, why did we get Anakin neutered?

Me: So he can't accidentally have babies with any girl cats.

Firstborn: How would he do that?

Me: (mom radar perking up and not wanting to say too much) Cats are mammals, so they have babies the same way we do. The dad helps the mom with it.

Firstborn: Oh, so the mom cat has an egg in her tummy and the dad cat has that other thing. What's that thing called again?

Me: Sperm.

Firstborn: Well, that dad cat must have to really shove that sperm in there because cats have LOTS of babies!

Me: (panic stricken and shooting coffee out of my nose) Let's have a cookie!!

15 comments:

Stephanie Faris said...

Oh my. That's one of the things you just hope he doesn't repeat in public!

Jude@ThisJewels4You said...

OMG. Thanks for the chuckle! Have a great weekend! Jude

In Real Life said...

Oh my goodness, that is way too funny! So cute! :)

Debra She Who Seeks said...

So you never wanted poor Anakin to say, "Luke, I am your father" . . . . LOL! Can I have a cookie too?

Michelle said...

LOL. So funny! Gotta love kids and their questions. And gotta love that you named the cat after Star Wars. My son was named after Wolverine. :)

Linda said...

That was funny! I hope the cookie distracted him.

Kelly L said...

That is very funny - I would have spit my coffee too!!!!

Love to you
Kelly
I've Become My Mother

Janine said...

I just about peed my pants reading this one!! How funny was that !!

Kids - aren't they just precious!

Frostbite and Sunburn said...

Wonderful!

Kristy Lautner said...

I just shot sherbet out my nose! LOL!

I had a similar conversation about circumcision with my middle two children (and the youngest eaves dropping) I explained very clinically as my son cringed at the thought of what I had done to his private parts and my oldest daughter looking at him with pure compassion. I only realized I had an eaves dropper when she giggled and said "that's cool" she obviously wasn't the boys favorite sister! lol

GLENDA BROOKS said...

Give him two cookies! (I'm still laughing!)

Suburban Princess said...

Oh my goodness that's hilarious!!!!!

Melanie said...

I too have tried to keep the answers honest and open - good for you. OMG i almost choked on my popcorn! thanks for the chuckle.

fancythatfancythis.com said...

I have no idea how on earth I'm going to answer these types of questions. You are amazing with your honesty! I think I'm going to have to give you a call when my 5-year-old gets older! And then we'll all go out for cookies. :)

Dimple said...

This is a hoot!