Monday, December 15, 2008

Not Going to Jail at Christmas for Murdering Your Spouse? Priceless.

I've mentioned in the past that the media makes a big fat lie out of the military reunion. Those unaccustomed to the reality of the situation see the hugs and kisses and miss the part where he messes up the house with his stuff and causes fights and arguments with his inability to just blend into the life we've created without him.
It's not that I'm not glad he's home. And in a week, we'll all be back to normal. The mess won't be so irritating. His need to comment on every little thing I say or do will have died down a bit. We'll both have mellowed some (because I admit, it's not just him). But for right now, I'm having to strongly resist the urge to hit him over the head with our cast-iron frying pan.
So, what's a girl to do when the Captain comes home and presses all the wrong buttons? Luckily for me, the answer is a fun one. I'm going shopping!
That's right. Having been through all this before, I anticipated these problems and made sure of two important things: we have no groceries, and I still have a little Christmas shopping to do. Check Mate!
So, tomorrow I will head out the door early in the morning, coffee in hand, leaving the Captain in charge of Firstborn and Rosemary's Baby. I will undoubtedly come home to find everyone still in their pyjamas, the breakfast dishes piled high, and evidence of some messy new project of the Captain's all over the counter, but no matter. For the few hours I am out of the house, listening to whatever I please on the radio, shopping wherever I like, and picking myself up a few bucks' worth of small, fun items, knowing that I don't have to be back by a certain time, my brain and body will return to its long-forgotten zen-like state, probably reducing my chances of having a heart attack this Christmas by half.
I'll make a few stops at places I normally wouldn't bother with if I had the kids with me, like the wine-making store and the liquor store (is anyone sensing a theme to my festivities this holiday season?). I might even get a rare, uninterrupted trip around Michaels! And if I time it right, I may even cap off the outing with a quick, delicious trip through the Burger King Drive-Thru on my way back out of town.
Hmmmm...better forget that thing I said about the heart attack.

1 comment:

Janine said...

Have fun on your outing and I hope I don't read about you in the paper...LOL!!!