Of course, what I couldn't do is give everyone thousands of dollars worth of my favourite things to take home. So I guess we'll say Oprah and I are even. For now.
I've gotten to a point in life where I don't actually ask for Christmas presents anymore. The Captain likes to come up with his own stuff for me, and I have various agreements with various family members on what our gift exchange should look like. Sadly, none of those agreements result in me getting to ask anyone for expensive booty. I think that's called being a grown-up.
Anyway, as I may have mentioned, I'm all about the lists. So, without further adieu, here is a list of items Santa would leave under my tree if I wasn't on his Naughty list:
The Grey Handbag: A few days back, I came across a picture of my latest dream purse. Like Alice after the White Rabbit, I followed it through cyberspace until I came to its present abode. A little place called Nordstrom. And that says it all. I can't, nor will I ever be able to, afford a $950 bag. But the good news is that I'm not snobby about these things! I like the fashion magazines, and one thing I find fun about them is that I can find something I love for a horrendous, wasteful amount of money, and then recreate the look (more or less) with a quick trip to GT Boutique, the Superstore and Wal Mart. I like to think of it as ingenuity.
The Cuttlebug: I go back and forth on this. Every time I walk down the paper craft aisle at Wal Mart, I ask myself "Should I?" Thus far, the answer has been no. I'm not doing enough cardmaking at present to justify spending the money. Between Christmas, kids, dogs and life, I haven't had a lot of time for crafts. That will change at some point, and eventually I'll get my Cuttlebug. But for now, I'm like the kid with his nose pressed up against the store window, dreaming about some toy and how it'll transform his life.
The Long Sweater: Those who know me say I'm tall. I'm no Amazon, but I do have a little trouble finding tops that reach low enough not to show off my flabby belly and stretch marks if I need to raise my arms upwards or lift a toddler onto my hip. So, when my beloved fashion magazines started featuring women in dress-length sweaters, I was overjoyed. I hit the Superstore to find one just chunky enough to look chunky but without all that added bulk that a woman my age simply doesn't need. Sadly, that sweater was nowhere to be found 50 feet away from the cabbages and slabs of cream cheese. I fear I'll have to venture into the mall to find what I'm looking for, perhaps during the January sales.
Nigella Christmas: Don't you love Nigella? I swear by her baking book. It's literally my baking bible. Everything in it is what food tastes like in heaven. Or so I imagine. So when I saw this new book being advertised, then heard that Sister #1 has actually bought it, my inner foodie started jumping up and down, yelling "Can I have it? Can I have it?" Then my inner mom snapped back irritably "No. You can wait for a scratch-and-dent!"The Cluster Ring: Ever since I saw Sleepless in Seattle, I've wanted one of these rings. They're big(ish), sparkly and look-what's-on-my-finger pretty. Let me reiterate here that I'm no snob. Sterling silver and some cubic zirconias will do me fine. I can pull off fake. I'm just that fabulous.
So now I either need to trick the Captain into thinking he came up with these ideas on his own, or find a way to justify buying them myself. Or, I could find myself a wealthy benefactor who wants to shower me with gifts, just for being me.
C'mon Oprah, whadda ya say?