Die, Swimwear, Die!
You know what I hate about this time of year? Every single magazine and catalogue devotes at least 30% of its pages to bathing suits. Stupid, stupid bathing suits.
Firstly, swimwear requires about a half a yard of fabric. So, we're being charged upwards of $100 (and sometimes more, depending on where you shop) for $5 worth of fabric and an hour (at the most) of cutting and sewing. This is even more infuriating to me than the current trend of women being charged full-price for ripped jeans. And you know how I feel about that, so no rant required.
Secondly, my body could be worse, but it could also be better, so just the idea of bikini-waxing myself and then exposing my pale, pasty, English skin, all stretch-marked and flabby, makes me want to rip my own head off and run around the beach shaking it at the buff and the beautiful.
I bought my most recent bathing suit 6 years ago in a fall sale for something like $20. It's the most unflattering thing you've ever seen--boy shorts and a tank top that covers as much as is humanly possible. And I only bought it because I had to take Firstborn to Aqua-Tots classes, where he routinely screamed for the first 45 minutes, then spent the last 15 asleep on my shoulder. I have absolutely no interest in replacing this degrading, unpleasant garment every single summer, and this is one area where I honestly cannot put myself in another woman's shoes. Judging by the amount of new bathing suits out there every spring and summer, there must be women who buy a new one every year. Can anyone tell me what motivates women to do this? Because I could buy myself 5 new summer dresses every week (if the Captain would let me, that is. He's a real party-pooper when it comes to me wanting to spend the grocery money on my wardrobe.), but nothing in the world makes me want to even spend 5 minutes looking at pictures of bathing suits.
So, let's hear it. Do you buy yourself a new swimsuit every year? And if so, for the love of Mike, WHY?!!
Comments
I hate wearing it, with a passion - I hate shopping for new ones -is there anything worse that standing in front a full length, super-lit mirror in a piece of stretchy fabric designed to make you look hideous? It's enough to make me run to the hills. But I do love running into the lakes so I do need something!
So - no, I do not buy a new swimsuit each year - about one every five or six years will do it.
Now then, my 5'7" skinny-as-a-rake daughter bought her first "proper" bikini last week - and why wouldn't she want something fun, and skimpy? I guess I just have to accept that about 5% of the population actually look good in them!!!
My daughter was looking for a shirt, and I tried on two suits that had very low sale prices. Neither one enticed me to spend $20.00- how sad! I wore shorts and waded.
I finally found a fabulous bathing suit to hide a multitude of sins.
Kazwear Swimwear!!
I'll be honest: when I lived at the beach, I DID buy a new swimsuit every summer ... but I practically lived in 'em, so it was justified (or so I convinced myself).
Now I live in a tropical climate, have a large pool in a very private yard thereby swimming year-round ... so, naturally, I now swim sans expensive swimwear.
When I drag Sheila to one of our local white-sandy beaches, I do suit up .. but usually choose the same boring tankini over and over and over.
There must be a moral to this story but it escapes me now ...
Sending hugs!
I buy 1-2 new suits a year but at Wal-mart where they are cheap. I buy them because I obsess with my tanning and I frequent the south a lot. But, I do feel they are totally over priced for the smallest piece of fabric ever!!