Firstly, swimwear requires about a half a yard of fabric. So, we're being charged upwards of $100 (and sometimes more, depending on where you shop) for $5 worth of fabric and an hour (at the most) of cutting and sewing. This is even more infuriating to me than the current trend of women being charged full-price for ripped jeans. And you know how I feel about that, so no rant required.
Secondly, my body could be worse, but it could also be better, so just the idea of bikini-waxing myself and then exposing my pale, pasty, English skin, all stretch-marked and flabby, makes me want to rip my own head off and run around the beach shaking it at the buff and the beautiful.
I bought my most recent bathing suit 6 years ago in a fall sale for something like $20. It's the most unflattering thing you've ever seen--boy shorts and a tank top that covers as much as is humanly possible. And I only bought it because I had to take Firstborn to Aqua-Tots classes, where he routinely screamed for the first 45 minutes, then spent the last 15 asleep on my shoulder. I have absolutely no interest in replacing this degrading, unpleasant garment every single summer, and this is one area where I honestly cannot put myself in another woman's shoes. Judging by the amount of new bathing suits out there every spring and summer, there must be women who buy a new one every year. Can anyone tell me what motivates women to do this? Because I could buy myself 5 new summer dresses every week (if the Captain would let me, that is. He's a real party-pooper when it comes to me wanting to spend the grocery money on my wardrobe.), but nothing in the world makes me want to even spend 5 minutes looking at pictures of bathing suits.
So, let's hear it. Do you buy yourself a new swimsuit every year? And if so, for the love of Mike, WHY?!!