For the most part, the errand-running was uneventful, unless you count Wal Mart running out of fig newtons as noteworthy. But when we dropped off a donation bag at Value Village and grabbed the opportunity to do a little treasure-hunting, all that changed.
As I was passing the jewellery counter, a large piece of cheap-and-cheerful costume jewellery caught my eye. It was a ring with a big pink stone and some little crystals surrounding it. Not everyone's cup of tea, I admit, but I like a chunky cocktail ring and I'm not apologizing. There was no one there to pull it out from under the glass, so I made a mental note to swing back around when I was done browsing.
After picking Firstborn up a pair of pants and a VHS copy of The Empire Strikes Back (we have this movie on my still-missing, still-broken laptop, but he insisted this was what he wanted as his treat for being good for the hygientist and, at $2.99, I didn't care enough to argue), I returned to the jewellery counter where there was now an employee showing a woman maybe a little older than my mom several of the rings from under the counter. I stood back for a minute or two and minded my own business until the employee saw me and asked if she could help. And I asked to see the ring.
No sooner had I gotten the thing on my hand, than this other customer looked down her nose at me, put on a tone that suggested she was an old school-marm scolding a 7 year-old girl, and said, "You know that's just play jewellery, right?"
Not one to immediately get snarky when someone states the obvious (the ring was $5.99. I was not under the impression I was about to purchase something from the Tudor dynasty), I smiled politely and replied ,"Oh, I know. But it's cute for six bucks."
And then came her pompous retort.
"Well, there's cute and then there's ostentatious!"
But it didn't end there. Because after saying that, she let out a loud and self-important SNORT!
And boy, did I want to put her in her place. Two immediate appropriate responses popped straight into my head, too.
"Do you have an untreated neurological disorder, or are you just naturally obnoxious?"
"Don't worry. I'm sure when I'm as old as you, I'll be less showy."
But I couldn't do it. Partly because it would be terribly rude. Also because I could feel something coming up my throat--a giggle. A big one. And it's even more rude to laugh in someone's face, even if they were rude first.
So, without even giving this horrible woman a sideways glance, I held up my new spite-purchase and gave the now mortified employee a big, toothy grin.
"Yeah, I'm gonna take that."
Then I turned on my heel and headed for the nearest open cash register. Now that ring sits on my right middle finger, sparkling away and making me as happy as if it were the real thing.
Feel free to call me ostentatious.