Friday, May 8, 2009

A Little Topical Correspondence

Dear Economy,
Feel free to bounce back any time now. Just because my husband is a public servant, it doesn't mean I'm not affected. I have a whole lot of family and friends out there stressing and suffering over this situation. So, come on! Boom again! Or at least bang! I think we'd all settle for a mild pop at this point. No one likes a show-off anyway.
Best Regards,
Someone who never thought she'd be nostalgic for the 80's.

Dear Swine Flu,
Please go away now. Every time my kid coughs, I want to call 911. If he gets a fever, I'm consulting the internet to calm myself with the suggestion that it's probably just dysentery. You're making me crazy, and frankly, I don't need any extra help.
Yours Truly,
A 35 year-old with granny hands

Dear Kiefer Sutherland,
You're dreamy. Soooo dreamy. But this drunk-driving/headbutting business has got to stop. If it doesn't, you're going to start looking your age, and that won't be good for any of us. Speaking of which, exactly how is a 42 year-old man mustering up enough energy to spend his evenings at trendy nightclubs, drinking and getting into fights? I'm 35 and can barely stay up late enough to catch the tail end of Grey's Anatomy. Any insight you could give me into this would be greatly appreciated.
Someone who doesn't think you could handle prison

1 comment:

Sister#1 said...

Hahaha! He really IS dreamy!
I have granny hands too :(