Be Afraid. Be Very Afraid.

You know when you do something that you can't undo and then immediately regret it? Well, I've done one of those things. Sort of.

When the Captain returned from Afghanistan, I made the rather dramatic proclamation that I needed a break from my life, which, over the past seven months, had been worse than anything he could possibly begin to understand. Bear in mind that he was somewhere where things were exploding all the time, and where he had to take numerous medications to stave off exotic illnesses like malaria. So, as you can imagine, there was a lot of eye-rolling.

But I persevered, continued to be extra theatrical about needing a break, and then went and booked myself a non-refundable 4-day trip home to see my family. By myself!

So this week, for the first time ever, I am going to leave my children with their dad for more than one day. Okay, there was ONE time when I took a 48-hour "relaxation vacation". And by that, I mean that I left Firstborn at home with the Captain and my mother so that I could go push Rosemary's Baby out of my birth canal. But that doesn't count.

And now we come to the horrifying regret part. I mean, I'm still totally looking forward to getting on a plane and actually being able to read a magazine and drink my complimentary Diet Coke without anyone yelling, crying or throwing up on me. And I can't wait to see everyone and have a legitimate break. But the idea of leaving my kids in the care of anyone else, even their father (who, for the record, is very capable) has me absolutely terrified.

I've made a list for the Captain, which details things like what time Firstborn needs to be up in the morning, the homework routine, and numerous reminders that all doors need to be kept locked to stop Rosemary's Baby from heading down the highway on the lawnmower. And I picked up pill boxes for both boys so I can pre-administer their vitamins. I'm going to make all of Firstborn's school lunches in advance and lay out all his outfits too. Am I sounding like a control freak yet?! Because if the Captain rolls his eyes at me one more time, they're going to get stuck that way.

I guess the things in life that are really worth doing should always be met with with a pinch of trepidation. I'll be back with the play-by-play next Sunday!