If Only There Was a Protective Slipcover for Bad Shopping Decisions

And now back to what this blog is really all about.

In December, I got sick and tired of dealing with dog hair and juice stains on my couch. We have one of those oversized microfiber things in bright red. It is incredibly unforgiving. So I decided it was finally time to get a slipcover.

I've used slipcovers before, and I find that they slip and slide all over the place, and the end result is that it looks like you just draped your furniture in a big bedsheet. With that in mind, I decided to go all out and get one of the stretchy ones, which I convinced myself was sure to be the answer I was looking for. It'd cling to what it was supposed to and be form-fitting, and suddenly my dog hair problem would be a thing of the past and my life would be all martinis and designer gowns. What could possibly go wrong?!

Here is a picture of the slipcover I chose:




Here is a picture of what it looks like on my couch:


I guess technically it does protect the way it's supposed to (please note: Rosemary's Baby is not wearing any pants), but the nature of the fabric actually makes it a hair magnet that even my washing machine can't hope to salvage. The fact that it just sort of squashes the back cushions into place and makes everything else look lumpy and depressed leaves me thinking I won't be having anyone over for martinis anytime soon.
I hope my dogs appreciate that I spent $90 to turn my couch into a fancy dog bed. At least it was on sale.

Comments

Unknown said…
Lucky dogs! I bet they're loving it!

I am laughing because I had the same experience - those slip covers attract hair like nothing else. I thought I would use nice, modern, form fitting covers in chocolate brown to update our super comfortable, but very orange furniture. Unfortunately, they didn't last a week.
February 10, 2010 at 1:50 PM
Janine said…
I did slipcovers for my couches when I first moved into our house and cut them up with scissors after I washed them. They are the devil in disguise.

Always thinking about ya!!
February 10, 2010 at 3:09 PM
Heather said…
Thank you for the laugh. We too tried the slipcover route. It held the loose back cushions in place (because the kids were always making forts out of them) but came untucked...daily...it was a worse pain to tuck them back in. Whoever invented these is laughing all the way to the bank.
February 10, 2010 at 4:15 PM
Linda said…
Sigh. Slipcovers.

I have a slipcover on my couch to prevent the dogs from wearing it out more than my son already did. Then I keep a sheet on top of that so I can just wash the sheets instead of washing the heavy slipcover.

I feel your pain.
February 10, 2010 at 5:42 PM
Frostbite and Sunburn said…
Hilarious - sorry! Those photos could not be more different if they tried.

Oh well, it was worth a go - as you didn't spend too much money, there is enough for a nice new cocktail dress to go with those martinis. Cheers!
February 10, 2010 at 6:00 PM
Deb Neerman said…
Oh, no problem! I can make photo #2 look like photo #1! Seriously. It's all about the tucking ... and you need a tuck-tool. Check youtube for a video. And I know you're thinnin' I'm messin' with you, but I'm completely serious!

But they ARE dust/hair/neked kid magnets!!
February 10, 2010 at 6:02 PM
Glenda said…
I also did the slipcover route many years ago. What a disaster...I have never done that since. They were worse back then I thought, but looks like they never change. Good luck to you!
February 11, 2010 at 2:00 AM
Sandy aka Doris the Great said…
I have the perfect solution for you. Why don't you slip cover the dog WITH the slip cover! This would solve both your problems!
February 11, 2010 at 5:09 AM
Nezzy (Cow Patty Surprise) said…
I think they magnetize those covers before they bag them, it's permanent ya know. Just shave the dog! Heeeheehe!

Ya'll have a terrifically blessed day!!!
February 11, 2010 at 12:10 PM
Allison said…
OMG I bought not one but two of those monstrous slipcovers. I guess I didn't learn my lesson the first time! I couldn't believe how they attracted hair and bits of fluff and anything that it came in contact with!
February 12, 2010 at 3:06 PM
C. said…
I feel your pain-- 2 pieces of advice though:

1)get some wooden spoons to use to really, really tuck that sucker in

2)if you get a dowel or piece of pvc the length of your couch (the heavier the better) and shove it between the bottom cushions and the back of the couch it keeps it tucked in MUCH better
March 22, 2010 at 3:12 PM
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