Sunday, February 19, 2012

Naked Destruction

I'm so very, very behind here. I had a new craft to share on Friday but life got in the way. Maybe next week. I also have an inbox full of your comments. I'm getting around slowly to visit you all, I promise. Still no tutor here, and I decided last week that it was time to go to Plan B. I enrolled RB in kindergarten for September. Three-quarters of me is thrilled. The rest is terrified.

A quick update:

This is what the thermostat in my bedroom looks like until the Captain can come home and re-attach it properly to the wall. RB is so bored without therapy, he's getting into everything. A couple of weeks back, he managed to not only pull the thermostat off the wall, but he actually disconnected it. We're lucky no one was electrocuted. Other ways he's been keeping himself busy:

  • Peeing in the toilet and then throwing his toys in there to hear the cool splash. 
  • Taking his clothes off and running around naked 40 times a day (very embarrassing when the school bus comes down the driveway and he's waving at it from our huge living room window). 
  • Getting into the kitchen cupboards and finding fun things to sprinkle all over the house. 

On Friday I turned my back for 5 minutes to find RB standing naked in the living room covered in what looked like blood from his chest, dripping all the way down his legs. One heart-attack later I realized he'd gotten into a jar of raspberry jam, which is why despite looking like he was bleeding to death, he also looked incredibly pleased with himself. I'm losing my hair here.

In an attempt to keep from going completely crazy, and since the weather has been so very nice, I've been trying to do outings with my little naked whirlwind. Last week, I took him to Booming Metropolis where we attempted 3 errands: Safeway, Bulk Barn and Dollarama. Safeway was easy due to the carts they have with the little truck on the front. RB loves to drive. No such smooth sailing with the other two. RB is much too big to fit into a regular shopping cart anymore, so we've been practicing walking around our small-town grocery store, which has been going well. I assumed it would be the same at Bulk Barn and the dollar store. Of course it was not.

The Bulk Barn has a million clear bins of snacks and candy. Why on earth would RB not be a little monkey when let loose in a place like that?! I had to hold his hand to keep him from running off while I was trying to scoop tapioca flour and raisins into bags. Needless to say, we left a trail of spills and messes all over the store. Dollarama was no better. RB was already getting tired by this point, and having toys and interesting little bits and pieces all within arms reach did not help matters. Next time, his father is coming with us!

So, I can't decide which is easier. We stay home and he destroys the house. We go out, and the house remains intact but I'm so exhausted by the end of it, I'm seeing double and hearing voices telling me to run for the hills. If we don't get a new tutor, it could go on like this until September!

Gin-and-tonic, anyone?!


Suburban Princess said...

Yikes! Would bribes work? Does he have a currency?

Debra She Who Seeks said...

Hang in there, kiddo! I hope help is on its way soon. said...

Gin and tonic on its way!! What did you say, just bring the full bottles! Not a problem! He is one very busy guy. Hang in there.....

Tricky Nag said...

It can't last forever.
I hope you got a lime at Safeway for your G&T. And if you didn't, it will still be wonderful!


Why are tutors difficult to find? You definitely need some help! I'm afraid I would have already given in to drinking on the job! You have to be the strongest woman I know! I know you are beginning to buckle but hang in there! Surely help will be coming soon!

Granny Bob said...

It will get better, so hang on we are here for you, take care!

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