On September 20th, 2003, after four miserable hours of pushing, I earned myself a new title: MOM. Turns out, that was the easy part!
Those of you who have been following my trials and tribulations for any length of time might think that Rosemary's Baby is the only one around here pushing my buttons and wreaking havoc everywhere he goes. But, while Firstborn is definitely the calmer, quieter, gentler soul in this house, he too has had his moments. Let us review.
The four hours of pushing caused my 9 1/2 lb alien-baby some distress and he ended up inhaling his own poop on the way out. He had to be intubated and kept in the Special Care Nursery on an IV for the next three days.
Motherhood lesson #1: Being a mom is terrifying, and full of incidents involving poop.
Aquatots! While all the other babies splashed around with their parents and had fun, mine cried for the first half-hour because the water was too cold, and then fell asleep on me for the rest of the class. This shot was taken as we stepped into the water. One minute later, he was bawling.
Motherhood lesson #2: Saturday morning sports are for other people's children.
Firstborn loved his food and would fight sleep in order to keep eating.
Motherhood lesson #3: Blueberry pie+a tired child+a camera-happy new mom= some rather disturbing images.
An early attempt at watching Hockey Night In Canada as a family. Judging from his expression, I'm guessing the Leafs were doing what they usually do, and he was wondering why on earth we were cheering for them.
Motherhood lesson #4: Eventually, every kid comes to realize that his parents are idiots.
He has always been crazy for reading, which of course isn't a bad thing. But he's also always had a bit of a thing for characters who get into mischief. As you can see, it started with Curious George. Now he's into Calvin and Hobbes, and has learned that when he does something naughty, he can blame it on his stuffed toys.
Motherhood lesson #5: Hide the No, David! books until he's 30. We don't need him getting any ideas.
The Captain's Artillery School graduation. When Firstborn saw his father go up to accept his certificate, in his two year-old exuberance, he yelled out "Daddy!!" This got him a good few laughs from the crowd and encouraged him to stand up and do it again. And again. And again. I finally had to drag him outside, kicking and screaming, until the whole thing was over.
Motherhood lesson #6: A good babysitter is worth the expense.
And finally, what is fondly known around here as "the chocolate syrup incident".
Motherhood lesson #7: Lock up the fridge, and avoid shag carpet.
Tonight, we celebrate the occasion with a Batman cake, and lots of new Lego. But don't get me started on Lego...
Happy Birthday, little monkey!