It's Just Not Christmas Until the Pee Starts Flying

Rosemary's Baby likes to clean the toilet for me. Only, his version of "cleaning" really just involves taking the toilet brush, or plunger--it doesn't matter which--and splashing toilet water all over the bathroom. It's delightful. Really.

So, this afternoon I was busying myself with all kinds of important Christmas preparations. Or, I was browsing Zappos for sale-priced open-toed shoes with a four-inch heel that I can't afford, or ever possibly use. I don't remember which. But anyway, it occured to me that Rosemary's Baby was giggling in the bathroom with the door closed. And that could only mean one thing. So, I hot-footed it in there to find him in his favourite toilet-cleaning position, grinning at me from ear to ear. There was water absolutely everywhere.

And then the smell hit me. Someone hadn't flushed.

Rosemary's Baby is still not partial to peeing in the toilet, so it wasn't him. I don't subscribe to the "if it's yellow, let it mellow" philosophy, partly because my dogs like to drink in there and they're just not that discriminating, and also because I like to at least live in a house where there isn't pee in the toilet at all times. I don't think it's that much to ask. So anyhow, this means it was Firstborn. I can't really yell at him though, because he learned it from his father.

So, I spent the next half hour scrubbing down the bathroom with the freshest-smelling household cleaner I could find and hoping I hadn't missed a spot. And now my bathroom smells faintly of pee and orange Lysol.

I'd put coal in his stocking, but I'm pretty sure he'd find a way to turn it against me.


In Real Life said…
Oh my goodness! It is times like that when you just have to laugh. I love your title.
My daughter does not like to flush, it is a sensory thing, she really can't tolerate the sound. I thought if I was firm, she would outgrow it, but no luck so far.
I totally agree with your philosophy, I would like to live in a home with a pee-free toilet too...
If it makes you feel any better...pee is sterile.
Kelly's Ideas said…
Very Funny - I so don't miss those days.... Merry Christmas to you and yours!

Stephanie Faris said…
My boyfriend's daughter is bad about that too...she's 9, almost 10. Drives me crazy. Her big thing, though, is washing her hands BEFORE she flushes. I don't get that. She'll even flush with her foot to avoid touching the handle with her clean hands. I have no idea why...but when I catch her doing it I always correct her.
laterg8r said…
oh you poor thing, nothing like the smell of pee to put you off men LOL :D
Angie Muresan said…
Oh dear! But urine really is sterile. I have a scientist relative who claims that in Germany they have done tests for acne treatment using urine.
The Blonde Duck said…
And I thought it was just my dogs that shared their pee...
Janine said…
Ok all the talk about urine being sterile and putting it on your face has turned me sour!!!
Merry Christmas Wendy!! I will be thinking about ya!!
Dimple said…
I think you're right, he would find a way to use coal against you! It's good you can see the humor in this sort of thing!
I wish you an incident free Christmas!

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