Have you ever: Cleaned poop off the walls? Wondered why even the dog eats before you do? Been told your new haircut makes you look like Benny Hill, Velma from Scooby Doo, or Professor Snape? Taken your first pee break in 8 hours, only to hear an almighty crash from the living room just as your pants hit your ankles? Had your cooking referred to as "slop"? Escorted a naked child and his soccer ball back inside the house? Worn plastic beaded jewellery that gave you a rash? Realized that that god-awful song you can't get out of your head comes from a Barney video? Looked in the mirror and gasped in horror at the disheveled, crazy-eyed cat lady looking back at you? Asked "Good lord, WHAT is that smell?!" If you answered "yes" to any of these questions, I'd like to wish you a very Happy Mother's Day.